Electrifying.

The part I really don’t understand is if you’re looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That’s not self-help, that’s help.

yellow means slow down

I always feel so awful when I blast through yellow lights. Yellow is such a happy color, like daisies, it finds a way to smile without a mouth. The color shines like the sun at the drivers who stop, and those who zoom through, miss it completely. Maybe this is why I feel so bad, flying by the yellow light like I am letting it down, when it asked so nicely for me to stop. The one bit of joy in this dirty city, and I don’t even have the decency to stop and look at it.

clean your room

Sometimes i feel as though cleaning my room is like cleaning out my head. I leave out receipts, and drinks from long nights. The clothes i wore to a party stay in the exact same place i took them off days ago. In a way I am just not ready to let these things go. Memories of great nights that will be forgotten next week. But as i clean, i remember them, then let them go. Throwing my dirty clothes into the washing machine, and take all the trash to the trash can. I clear my head, ready for what next comes my way. My room is a mess, i’m just not ready to let go, not yet.

give me something i can hold on to.

the butterflies in my stomach feel good, its been a long time i have actually lost sleep over a boy. we have different beliefs, but he makes me smile, and tells me i’m always beautiful, for right now, thats good enough for me.

i have grown up believing i deserve better. but im looking around, and i dont see it. maybe im looking for more than is there, but i want more than is there. i have looked on my door step, next to me in class, even the trunk of my car, i just cant seem to find what i really want. And there is a beetle in my stomach, crawling around, telling me that not everyone finds what they want, and i could be one of them.